Languaging The World
Note for readers: The visual aspect of the poems below is an important part of the reading experience. The following layouts are approximations that are best read on a laptop or by flipping your phone horizontally. However, at the end, there’s a link to a PDF that contains the original, intended layouts.
within my Autistic language
This poem deals with Damian Miltion’s concept “the double empathy problem,” wherein failure in communication between Autists and non-Autists is always placed on the former. Specifically, the poem explores the struggle to fit into a neurotypical-conforming language, while my authentic Autistic language is used against me as an instrument of pathology; it’s rhythmic, repetitive, vibrational, non-linear – worldbuilding on its own. This is repeated in the visual, where the words move across the page, scatter, align, break off, leaning into this formal expression, the form opens towards non-linear reading, where the reader can choose their own way through the poem, reading it either line-by-line or block-by-block, or find their personal way through it.
my language skips and stumbles
meanders and multiply
it struggles to focus on the overall
because it sees all the details
how the details all fit together
to make the overall
and therefore are all
all important
without them
there would be
no overall at all
galaxy braining*
widens the focus
bringing the periphery
through the center
start in the middle
neurotypicality finds x chaotic
when x does not fit predetermined boxes
not prepared for them
when they have to accept language is physical
that other connections can be made a sculptural art form
when the common is in question a matter of transformation as
questioning the structures of languaging our world a matter of fact
the rhythms of language
read or
spoken
are felt
the repetition is my stimming
inviting you
jive with me
to revel in reverberations
sounds running through you
*Thank you to KR Moorhead for introducing me to the concept of galaxy braining
struggling to fit into the language
Language is something we physically embody; it moves our bodies and lives invisibly in our breath. While this poem reflects some struggles to move away from the neurotypical language taught throughout my life and embody my Autistic language, it was actually written in response to learning Mandarin after relocating to Taipei, Taiwan. It describes the struggles of relating to these new sounds and constellations, learning to move with them, to repeat them.
I’m still struggling to fit into the language
to find its shape
reflected in my body
to hear its resonances
not just muddled overlap
to distinguish the words
embody their sounds
to make them mine approximating
not just passing this language
by me from the outside
learning to listen
all over again
to sit within and
let it wash over me
frustrated and scared
it might be beyond me
to do anything within these
minuscule variations in sounds
tone deaf amongst a tonal people
held in strained apprehension
waiting for the words
to sound them from within my breath
to speak them from recognition
to step into relation with them
to shape a version of them
to embed them what does it feel like
to my self when a language settles in
to your body
making an inhabitation of this other speaking me
relaxing into the sounds
inviting the words in
reshape my mouth
rearrange my tongue
outside of my conscious self
when do I author the language
currently only spoken into me
who gets to struggle with language publicly
The West tends to pride itself on being “civil” and looks down upon countries outside of Europe and North America as being “underdeveloped”, even backwards. Within this Eurocentric bias, language has often been weaponised. In Denmark, where I grew up, one is likely to be ousted, made fun of, or considered stupid if they speak with a thick non-native accent or don’t speak Danish or English fluently. In contrast, I found the Taiwanese to be supportive and appreciative of my attempt to learn Mandarin, even when I mispronounced words or missed them. This raises a question: who is really civil?
These reflections started when my Taiwanese partner Panthea pointed out to me the privilege I, as a white man, have in being seen as someone who is really making an effort not expected of me, whereas non-white people in the West are often seen as different and unintelligent when struggling through our languages.
in Taiwan
I get to struggle with this new language publicly
be appreciated for it
not judged that I need to work harder
that I am not smart enough
that I clearly don’t get it
with language the west measures people's worth
by the words
instinctively
instantly
our system trades in words
as currency for knowledge
fluency as proof of intelligence
it happens so quick
we don’t even need to
put it back into words
before the determination is made
of who to listen to and who to shun
because if they can’t even speak our language
how could they possibly have anything to contribute
that we don’t already know
in Taiwan
I get to struggle with this new language publicly
be appreciated for it
not made fun of
made to feel less than
made out to not be fully there
I’m confused
I clearly remember learning in school
that here
outside of the west
they are not as civilized
as we are
Please click here for the PDF with the original layouts.
Cover image: Heiredal, Troels. Cities & Reflections IV. 2026, 35mm multiple-exposed colour film, London. Image courtesy of writer.